Opening Lines
Nov. 16th, 2005 09:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katiefooleryIn the absence of anything to actually write about, I thought I'd follow the lead of the good ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_kaytinator and do an entry on the opening lines of my stories throughout the ages. Hopefully, it will distract attention away from the progression of my plan, which has involved plentiful list-making but no actual starting-small. But I digress. Back to the opening lines!
(The inspiration for this can be found at the good Kayt's old Diary-X account.)
I suppose we have to start right at the beginning, or as close as we can possibly come without building a time-machine and going back to 1984 in order to peek over my shoulder as I wrote (and illustrated) my very first story. Instead, we'll have to go forward two years and make do with The Adventures of Star, a story about a girl and her horse and her friends and their horses. It seemed to me that every girl in my town had a horse* and the only way I could get one was to write up a fictional one.
And the first line goes like this:
Star was a horse owned by a girl called Amy.
Wow. I'm rivetted. Must... read... on... and so on. Amy was actually the name of my best friend at the time, but it was my name in the story. I used to spend recessess and lunchtimes writing this story. At one stage, I was even forced to read a section out to the Grade Sixes and there was talk of putting a bit in the school newsletter, but this was scotched when I admitted that I couldn't type. We did have a computer at that stage, but it was a Commodore64 and it was mostly for playing games and for my dad to swear at.
By the time I reached secondary school, the appeal of horses had faded when faced with the shiny attraction of spaceships. This new obsession led to my great science fiction epic, Milliard, which came to me when I was playing the piano one day. And it starts thusly:
Moonlord is a pretty lonely place for a girl to live, but thirteen year old Tarrac liked it.
Good old Taz. I thought I was pretty adventurous, writing about a thirteen year old girl when I was only twelve. It seems a lot less adventurous from here, but that's how I felt at the time. An interesting fact about Milliard is that every person's name had to have double letters in it somewhere. Apparently, that's how they were going to do things in the future.
Milliard held my attention for quite some time. It was the first story I wrote on a computer, which saved me a lot of time, given my "unique" handwriting. In time, I grew tired of science fiction and moved on to fantasy. The Legends of Soloris took its name from a box of orange juice which used to sit in the kitchen in my line of sight from my bedroom (I realised later that it was actually Solora orange juice, not Soloris orange juice, but I don't think this really signifies). I had this story all plotted out, but it never went further than three chapters. And this is how it starts:
Elhandra put her head in her hands, her elbows on the desk of her small room and stared out of the window.
You know, that sentence has some pretty dodgy structuring going on. Quite shocking. Yet, despite this, from time to time I toy with the idea of continuing this story. And then I come to my senses.
(Please excuse me whilst I re-visit a story idea I had back in 1998. I still love it muchly. Seven years on and I can still see the flames in the opening scene. Maybe I should start writing it... after I finish The City, re-write Black Fiddle and do all the other things that I have lined up.)
Now that I have that out of my system, we shall move forward to when I really started writing again. 2002 seems to have been a fertile sort of year. This is a taste of what has been written since then:
Apple Pye
My father designed the great bridge that connected Little Barley to Greater Barley. My aunt single-handedly ended the war in Near Hampton. But it wasn't until my mother baked Apple Pye that the king deigned to visit.
The Wrongful Queen of Landare
When the old king died in an unlikely accident involving a curtain rod, a stuffed poodle and a fried egg, the search was on for an heir.
Revel
The cry of plovers echoed through the cold night sky.
Chickens & Lies
Gregor wished he worked for the normal sort of mad scientist, not the one who had just invented the chickenometer.
Ever Again
These days, people forget what I once was.
The Black Fiddle of Barnet
"Where do you think you're going, my girl?"
A note on The City: this opening line actually contains a mild swear word, which is very rare for me. It just shows you how strong a characer Lenore is I suppose. Either that, or I secretly want to swear. A lot.
The City
The city's always dark and it pisses me off.
One Hundred Years' Time (part II)
"Are you ready, Chaque?" asked her father.
I love Chaque. Love her love her love her. She likes burning things, so we have absolutely nothing in common, but I'd love to write more about her.
Devinda Ray: Speechwriter to the Moderately Famous (Excellent Rates!)
Devinda stepped out of the Pryntting Shop and looked at her new business card. It was slightly flimsy, printed in the exact colours she hadn't requested and the ink was running in the rain.
And I think that's about it. There are plenty of other stories, but they're sad, unfinished things - started with promise, only to dribble out into nothing a few pages later. The best thing about writing this post is that, by writing out words I've already written, I suddenly feel much more confident about writing words I haven't written yet. And if that sentence makes a scrap of sense then it's more than it deserves. I seem to have reminded myself of my potential and that can only be a good thing. Right at this very moment, I want to:
* Looking back, it was probably only every other girl, but that still has an impact when all you can ride is a sheep.
the_kaytinator and do an entry on the opening lines of my stories throughout the ages. Hopefully, it will distract attention away from the progression of my plan, which has involved plentiful list-making but no actual starting-small. But I digress. Back to the opening lines!(The inspiration for this can be found at the good Kayt's old Diary-X account.)
I suppose we have to start right at the beginning, or as close as we can possibly come without building a time-machine and going back to 1984 in order to peek over my shoulder as I wrote (and illustrated) my very first story. Instead, we'll have to go forward two years and make do with The Adventures of Star, a story about a girl and her horse and her friends and their horses. It seemed to me that every girl in my town had a horse* and the only way I could get one was to write up a fictional one.
And the first line goes like this:
Star was a horse owned by a girl called Amy.
Wow. I'm rivetted. Must... read... on... and so on. Amy was actually the name of my best friend at the time, but it was my name in the story. I used to spend recessess and lunchtimes writing this story. At one stage, I was even forced to read a section out to the Grade Sixes and there was talk of putting a bit in the school newsletter, but this was scotched when I admitted that I couldn't type. We did have a computer at that stage, but it was a Commodore64 and it was mostly for playing games and for my dad to swear at.
By the time I reached secondary school, the appeal of horses had faded when faced with the shiny attraction of spaceships. This new obsession led to my great science fiction epic, Milliard, which came to me when I was playing the piano one day. And it starts thusly:
Moonlord is a pretty lonely place for a girl to live, but thirteen year old Tarrac liked it.
Good old Taz. I thought I was pretty adventurous, writing about a thirteen year old girl when I was only twelve. It seems a lot less adventurous from here, but that's how I felt at the time. An interesting fact about Milliard is that every person's name had to have double letters in it somewhere. Apparently, that's how they were going to do things in the future.
Milliard held my attention for quite some time. It was the first story I wrote on a computer, which saved me a lot of time, given my "unique" handwriting. In time, I grew tired of science fiction and moved on to fantasy. The Legends of Soloris took its name from a box of orange juice which used to sit in the kitchen in my line of sight from my bedroom (I realised later that it was actually Solora orange juice, not Soloris orange juice, but I don't think this really signifies). I had this story all plotted out, but it never went further than three chapters. And this is how it starts:
Elhandra put her head in her hands, her elbows on the desk of her small room and stared out of the window.
You know, that sentence has some pretty dodgy structuring going on. Quite shocking. Yet, despite this, from time to time I toy with the idea of continuing this story. And then I come to my senses.
(Please excuse me whilst I re-visit a story idea I had back in 1998. I still love it muchly. Seven years on and I can still see the flames in the opening scene. Maybe I should start writing it... after I finish The City, re-write Black Fiddle and do all the other things that I have lined up.)
Now that I have that out of my system, we shall move forward to when I really started writing again. 2002 seems to have been a fertile sort of year. This is a taste of what has been written since then:
Apple Pye
My father designed the great bridge that connected Little Barley to Greater Barley. My aunt single-handedly ended the war in Near Hampton. But it wasn't until my mother baked Apple Pye that the king deigned to visit.
The Wrongful Queen of Landare
When the old king died in an unlikely accident involving a curtain rod, a stuffed poodle and a fried egg, the search was on for an heir.
Revel
The cry of plovers echoed through the cold night sky.
Chickens & Lies
Gregor wished he worked for the normal sort of mad scientist, not the one who had just invented the chickenometer.
Ever Again
These days, people forget what I once was.
The Black Fiddle of Barnet
"Where do you think you're going, my girl?"
A note on The City: this opening line actually contains a mild swear word, which is very rare for me. It just shows you how strong a characer Lenore is I suppose. Either that, or I secretly want to swear. A lot.
The City
The city's always dark and it pisses me off.
One Hundred Years' Time (part II)
"Are you ready, Chaque?" asked her father.
I love Chaque. Love her love her love her. She likes burning things, so we have absolutely nothing in common, but I'd love to write more about her.
Devinda Ray: Speechwriter to the Moderately Famous (Excellent Rates!)
Devinda stepped out of the Pryntting Shop and looked at her new business card. It was slightly flimsy, printed in the exact colours she hadn't requested and the ink was running in the rain.
And I think that's about it. There are plenty of other stories, but they're sad, unfinished things - started with promise, only to dribble out into nothing a few pages later. The best thing about writing this post is that, by writing out words I've already written, I suddenly feel much more confident about writing words I haven't written yet. And if that sentence makes a scrap of sense then it's more than it deserves. I seem to have reminded myself of my potential and that can only be a good thing. Right at this very moment, I want to:
- write a new story about Chaque
- investigate my "Otherworld" story a bit further
- re-work Devinda for submission to magazines
- and so on
* Looking back, it was probably only every other girl, but that still has an impact when all you can ride is a sheep.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2005-11-15 11:07 pm (UTC)I'm somewhat tempted to do this tonight. But...I fear my entry would be pages too long. I have far too many stories on my hard drive. *snickers* But I'm sorely tempted; oh, indeed I am.
Isn't it great when you can revisit a story and be reminded of why you loved it in the first place? It ignites something splendid, that's for certain. So I wish you luck on avoiding the temptation to rework those stories before The City and The Black Fiddle get their necessary attention. *grins*
I love when you discuss your writing and I so remember Apple Pye! Love it still, m'dear.
no subject
on 2005-11-15 11:09 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-11-16 04:18 am (UTC)twas an interesting read Bunly! I esp. love people's first lines :D
no subject
on 2005-11-16 07:41 am (UTC)no subject
on 2005-11-16 07:44 am (UTC)Don't feel bad about not writing about horses. I was surrounded by country and horses and girls who owned horses, or rode them or went to pony club. In short, I felt almost naked without a horse, so I had to get one somehow.
It probably would have been a much more interesting story if they'd all had wolves instead of horses.
no subject
on 2005-11-16 07:51 am (UTC)no subject
on 2005-11-16 07:52 am (UTC)Except i didn't have sheep, i had Cows and Trees. We tried to have an orchard, but we were truly hobbie farmists, and in the end just got ourselves some lovely galloways... beautiful creatures :D
Anyway... Def in the minority of minorities now... :P
no subject
on 2005-11-16 08:30 am (UTC)I'm somewhat tempted to do this tonight. But...I fear my entry would be pages too long.
Oh, do! I'd love to read it. Your comments on your early work are always greatly amusing. I'm afraid I skipped a lot of my stories, purely because there would are too many to record.
no subject
on 2005-11-16 02:40 pm (UTC)Juvenilia is always very fascinating, cos it just shows what a creative little spark you were!
I've saved everything i've ever written as well, cos I was a great one for inventing my own stories and illustrating them. I never really got past the 3 chapter stage, but the drawings now... that's another story entirely :P
Little wonder I have drifted towards art. But now I am slowly coming back to the shores of writing, like so much flotsam washed up after a storm, Tis very fun as well to go back to that mindset.
no subject
on 2005-11-16 06:37 pm (UTC)Your first lines are awesome. First lines are always the toughest part for me.
You are absolutely spiffy.
no subject
on 2005-11-16 10:43 pm (UTC)It sounds like we both started off the same way and then drifted along different paths. Maybe we should team up as writer and illustrator at some stage in the future? I wish I could draw or paint, but I have very little talent in that direction. I have to use words, rather than paints and colours, to create my images.
Ah well - everyone has their own strengths, I suppose.
no subject
on 2005-11-16 10:45 pm (UTC)I really want to read The Wrongful Queen of Landare.
Well, here's (http://www.livejournal.com/users/buneater/2005/04/22/) a taste of it. I could probably be prevailed upon to email the rest of the story to thee. :D
no subject
on 2005-11-16 10:51 pm (UTC)Hey Miss "I love to write"
on 2005-11-17 12:43 am (UTC)I was reading through your journal and found that you actually have nothing to right about but nothing.
I was wondering if this is the common life style in Australia or you just have toooooo much time to put your readers to sleep?
Would love to read your answer
Sleepy Reader
Re: Hey Miss "I love to write"
on 2005-11-17 02:40 am (UTC)no subject
on 2005-11-17 02:45 am (UTC)Oooooh, please please? *big huge kitty eyes* I would absolutely love to read it.
Re: Hey Miss "I love to write"
on 2005-11-17 02:48 am (UTC)Re: Hey Miss "I love to write"
on 2005-11-17 03:02 am (UTC)Re: Hey Miss "I love to write"
on 2005-11-17 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
on 2005-11-17 06:13 am (UTC)Also, she loves a good argument and I wouldn't want any of you to get hurt.
no subject
on 2005-11-17 06:14 am (UTC)no subject
on 2005-11-17 07:12 am (UTC)okay, i know, lame :P I'm going to blame it on a long day
Re: Hey Miss "I love to write"
on 2005-11-17 07:22 am (UTC)Claim your words or go back to that annoymous hole you came out of and go play with the other miniscule irritants.
Obviously you have too much time on your hands and simply wish to bore people with you inane and unbased criticisms.
Go back ringing doorbells and running away before the occupants return, because obviously you're not up to any real debates.
no subject
on 2005-11-18 01:07 am (UTC)I rode a horse only once, on one of those outdoor ed camps. I really didn't get what all the fuss was about ;)
In fact, I can't really remember writing anything with a significant animal element, until a couple of mythical animals (many of which didn't exist even outside my own head) started popping up when I was about 18. Fur dragons and demigriffins, bear elves and were-lizards...
errrr
on 2005-11-18 07:51 am (UTC)Ryneisha here!
GRRRR I cudnt find your opening line for the game! DRAT! Where is ittttttt *sulks*
*skips away* lalalala!
Re: errrr
on 2005-11-18 08:57 am (UTC)Re: errrr
on 2005-11-18 09:30 am (UTC)*rolls eyes to heaven*
Re: errrr
on 2005-11-18 10:14 am (UTC)no subject
on 2005-11-21 05:27 am (UTC)