Listing slightly

Please find attached a list of things that occurred over the course of my holidays.

Number of text messages received that are quite amusing when taken gratuitously out of context: one.

• It said: OK but think naughty ;-)

It’s an entirely innocent comment, but it still manages to entertain me no end.

Number of times I was called a skinny cow: one.

Number of times I expected to be called a skinny cow in my entire life: zero.

• I guess you never can tell what’s going to happen in your own life sometimes.

Number of times I had any desire to get out of bed before ten o’ clock in the morning: zero.

Number of times I did get out of bed before ten o’ clock in the morning: probably about four.

Number of times I woke up in a bad mood in the past fortnight: ten?

Number of times I’ve been irritated by a letter from the electricity company: one.

• The letter helpfully informed me that they realised they’d made an error on our last bill and here was our new one.  Yes, they had made an error on the previous bill.  No, they wouldn’t have known about it if I hadn’t rung up and said, “Hey, I just got this discount offer from my optometrist and I was wondering if your meter reader might want it since they’re clearly having trouble making an accurate reading of our meter”.
  
  At least give me the credit for catching your own damn mistakes, thanks very much.

Number of words written for LorF: eighty-eight.

• A thousand or so more and I might have an entire episode...

Number of times the power went out in my carriage on the train trip back from Beechy: four.

• I probably shouldn’t have been amused every time, but I was.  Especially when you have Vline staff staggering around in the dark, asking if anyone has a light because they can't see a damn thing.

And one for the LorFers:
Number of marshmallows I ate: none.  Not a single one.  They evaporated. :D