Only half there

[katiefoolery]

I have this weird theory that borrows a little from the whole concept of parallel universes and probably has much to do with being brought up by a mother who used to sing to biscuits in the oven, encouraging them to cook.  But matriarchal (and possibly hereditary) madness aside, my theory goes a little like this:

Ever been in a situation that could have been deadly if just one thing had been different?  Ever crossed the road just before a car crashed into the pole where you were standing?  Ever made a choice that turned out to be life-saving?

I've done this; several times.  And every time it happens, I feel hollow and washed-out, as though I'm only half there.  This is where my theory comes in, possibly involving parallel universes.

So, there's this idea that, for every action you make, there are dozens of others you could have chosen and in some place (I have no idea where), you did make that choice and the world is a different place.  So, instead of picking that lemon on the lower branch, I could have chosen the riper one on a slightly higher branch and because of that, peace was spontaneously declared in a war-torn African nation.

Nevertheless, my theory is that sometimes, instead of there being a dozen alternate possibilities, sometimes there are only two.  You either die horrifically in a car accident, or you don't.  And my explanation for that empty, washed-out feeling is that half of your body still believes you did die and has to be talked into reason by the other half.

It's a bizarre theory, but I'll stick by it until someone can disprove it categorically.

My reason for sharing this theory is that, last night, I almost choked to death on a small piece of tuna.  Seriously.  I suppose it was its revenge for being eaten.  But there I was, innocently chewing away on said piece of tuna when it decided to take a detour.  Thankfully, after wheezing and choking about for a bit, I managed to cough the cursed thing out and I went on my merry way, munching the rest of my dinner with incredible malice.

And my theory held - for the rest of the night, I felt as though I was only half there.  Either I died choking on a piece of tuna, or I didn't.

---

In other news, my internet addiction continues unabated as I acquire myself a flickr account.  After acquiring said account, I ran into the limitations of a free account and took all of five minutes to decide to upgrade.  Well, I have a lovely new camera - I need a pretty place in which to show my pictures off.  Don't I?  At any rate, I have now uploaded pictures from my recent trip to Beechworth, none of which were obscured in any way by annoying people.  I'm almost disappointed by this fact.  My favourite picture from the trip would probably be this one of a silvereye, which was spotted whilst having morning tea on the back verandah.  That is, we were having the morning tea, not the silvereye.

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The following is a picture of contrasts - modern Southern Cross Station and the classic lines of the Savoy Hotel across the road.  I cropped out the yellow safety barriers and the workers in fluorescent vests, because that would only imply that both the budget and timeline of completition for the station were being stretched beyond their limits, wouldn't it?

click for a larger image

Here, you will see my parents' cat, Buffy, with the dirty look for which she is famous within my family.

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For more photographs with comments, please follow this link.

If anyone else has a flickr account, please let me know and I'll friend you.

Comments

[sarsalot.livejournal.com]

Wow! That's a gorgeous photo. I've never seen that type of bird before.
I think you need to add 'the perils of rapid rise and fall in adrenaline levels' to your alternate universe theory, and you've got it mostly right.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

They're very small birds, so you're more likely to see branches and leaves moving than the actual bird itself. I was glad that one stayed still long enough for me to take a photo. :)

Indeed, adrenaline has much to do with feeling all washed-out, I'm sure. It's all very well that your body's trying to give you the energy to run away, but how is that supposed to help when you're choking on a piece of tuna? Maybe if you run hard enough, it will fly out by itself? Silly bodies.

[flippyfrog.livejournal.com]

i love your cat. just love it, that's such a classic look. It's beautiful.

as for the half-feeling stuff, i can understand that feeling. but mostly i spend my time wondering what could go wrong... vivid imaginations are a curse...

and that silvereye is most pretty. :D

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, the old Buffster. She's very good at giving those dirty looks. To me, she seems to be saying: you want to come over here and say that? After which she'd probably drool on me, as is her wont.

I also like this pic (http://www.flickr.com/photos/buneater/87284836/in/set-72057594049148151/) of her, in which she looks pensive but also a little guilty.

I often say that having an active imagination is both a blessing and a curse. Why are they always so quick to predict things going wrong?

[peachynat3.livejournal.com]

Interesting theory :) I've never actually considered things like that before. I guess when I'm involved in an incident that could have actually turned fatal, who knows... that I feel... hmm... kind of opposite in the way. I feel better, more inspired to do things, happier. I guess it just makes me think "What if it happened", and it makes me appreciate things more, I suppose... Of course, that depends entirely on what it is. Sometimes it just goes straight over the top of my head without a thought.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I just hope neither of us have many of these near-death experiences in our lives, even though it would give us ample time to examine my theory in more detail. A nice, simple life would be preferable to all that excitement of almost dying.

[poisonheadache.livejournal.com]

May I say that I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of Buffy. If I ever upset you, please don't tell her! *hides from the dirty look*

I know exactly what you mean about the half there feeling. The whole alternate universe thing is very Diana Wynne Jones, but I like to think that whole universes could hang on where I turned left or right to travel around the square where I live. DWJ likes big events like Guy Fawkes to change worlds, I like the idea of billions of universes splitting off all the time.

I'm pleased that this isn't the universe where anything bad happened to you tuna-wise :D

*wanders off to look at more pictures with comments*

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Why, thank-you muchly! I'm quite glad it turned out this way, too. It'd be back to the drawing board for the tuna, if I hadn't eaten it. :)

I always imagined that there must be thousands upon thousands of related worlds in the realm of Diana Wynne Jones. After all, the universe can't be too choosy about which events will split off from each other, can it? It still worries me a bit. I mean, I know the universe is supposed to be infinite, but can it really be that big? Then again, I've always had a bit of a problem with the concept of infinity.

[naelany.livejournal.com]

nice pictures ^_^. By the way, Buffy...huge cat! Reminds me a little of my first cat though, very similar markings. I wish I had a picture I could show of him

By the by, glad to hear you're alright. I think I know what you mean about your body needing the be convinced it didn't die

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

She's an enormous cat! Then again, she always was. She has the most enormous paws and cats with huge paws are usually BIG cats. She is a cat with a lot of personality, which you have to expect from a fourteen year old cat, I suppose.

And thank-you! I'm glad to still be here. :)

[naelany.livejournal.com]

lol yeah... she's an oldie ^_^

[goddesscarlie.livejournal.com]

Well, I think most people would say you only feel half there because you are in shock. The 'omg, I just couldda died' thing. But, I loved Back to the Future when I was a youngin and I believe in parallel universes, so I think you may have a bit of truth in there... Could be a very interesting premise for a story...

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

That's very true, too. But maybe the shock is caused by only being half there! Or maybe not. Still, it's a fun theory.

You're right - it could be an interesting premise for a story. I shall have to think a bit more about that one.

[minnn.livejournal.com]

Buffy rocks! *grugs cat and gets glared at*

I hope there aren't parallel universes, because my puny brain can't comprehend it. The concept also raises a whole heap of other questions about reincarnation, religion, souls/spirits, fate and the reason we exist - then I get a headache :P

But I know the feeling, kind of. I get it when deja vu occurs - you feel very detached from yourself, like you're watching yourself do something, or replaying a movie you've already seen in your mind...

Life or death situations though, that you have control over..? I can't remember being in one...if there is just one other parallel universe (*flashback of Futurama episode where they wave at the coyboy universe*), it doesn't sit right with me - there needs to be more than one, because life isn't as simple as right or wrong. But then if there were infinite parallels? It'd take away responsibility for your actions, because in another dimension/universe, a different decision is being made, and then infinite decisions are made, and infinity/fate will ensure that the path eventually does go "right" so why bother trying or deciding to do anything if fate's going to direct one of yourselves to do what it wants anyway-
*deep breath*

Ok, see? Headache :P
Did you see "Sliding Doors"? Or "The One"? :P

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Hehe! If you grugged her, then you probably got drooled on too. She's a very drooly cat. She also purrs so loudly (and for no good reason) that you could probably hear her in the next town.

The major question for me about parallel universes is: where are they? It's like this whole infinity thing, which drives me insane. How do you something's infinite? What if it's just really big? And yes, where do you draw the line? Does taking a breath one second later cause a new univerise to be born? Or are we only splitting up over important things? If so, who's to decide what's important and what isn't? It's a very problematic concept, if you ask me.

Mind you, it works very nicely into my theory. :)

Yes - I did see Sliding Doors, although I can't remember how it ended now. Perhaps there's a parallel universe in which I do remember... ;)

[paulini.livejournal.com]

Have I said this before? Your writing is so awesome, well done and FUNNY! I was laughing at times just by the way you put things! ;)
You have a very interesting theory, but its a bit "technical" for me! I really think you should get a hold of a book by Ted Dekker called "Blink" its about a guy who as this type of theory on your future and from what I have read of your theory he thinks about it in the similar way. You really should check it out! Its in Australia, you may have to search on the web....any ways....pictures are awesome!

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Why, thank-you muchly. And thanks for the book recommendation - I'll keep an eye out for it.

[the-kaytinator.livejournal.com]

Good theory. I must see if it holds true for me, now!!!

And Buffy's look is truly dirty. That is one mean kitty!

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Well, I wouldn't recommend testing it too thoroughly. It's not really a pleasant feeling.

The old Buffster has always been good at that dirty look. She's a very picky cat, too. The Ma and I had this joke that, if Buffy didn't like my Timothy when he visited our house for the first time, then things were going to be tricky. Luckily, she was all over him. :)

[cat-eyes-el.livejournal.com]

I miss the random things in the photo! It's just not good enough anymore!

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll try harder next time. I guess it was too hot for things to go around being random.

[disturbed-kiwi.livejournal.com]

Ever seen the Final Destination movies? The beginning of each has a group of people who manage to avoid a huge fatal accident but then really unlikely things keep happening and killing them off.

Because, similar to your 'either you die or not', in this place you were meant to die. And so you will, regardless of odds.

Its pretty squicky and intense but they play a lot of it for laughs, at least they did in my opinion.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Alas, no - I haven't seen those movies, but the concept sounds fascinating. It reminds me a little of the Terry Pratchett book, Mort, where a character who was supposed to die is saved. Unfortunately, the rest of the world was expecting her to die and it stops paying attention to her.