15minuteficlets // Prompt word: farewell // Untitled

[katiefoolery]

The teacher from my previous post came into the library last week and apologised once more for mistaking me for a student.  I feel a tiny bit bad for running off and laughing now, even though there’s no way she could have heard me.  She seems so genuinely embarrassed about it.  Apparently, it turns out I could “easily pass for a year twelve student” but I'm not going to try to test that theory any time soon.

I go back to school enough in my dreams, thanks very much.

Last week marked the last official word posted by 15minuteficlets.  It’s officially all over now, which is more than sad.  I just hope that Gill and I can carry on the tradition with 15_minute_fic and inspire many more people to write.

And even though I’ve felt more like editing than writing in the past few weeks, I couldn’t pass up the chance to write a ficlet for the very last word.  So I did.

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Title: Untitled
Fandom: Original
Rating: G
Word count: 302 words
Prompt word: farewell

It’s not forever – I have to keep remembering that.  Not forever.  Not like I’ll never see them again.  Not like I won’t be coming back.

Not forever.

So why does it feel like forever?  Why does it feel like this is the last time ever?  Why does it feel like this is going to be the last time I cry like this because I’m going to have no tears left once this is done?

I don’t have enough time.  I can’t look at them long enough, can’t hold them close enough.  It’s not enough, not even close.  I want my lifetime with them.  I don’t want to have to make do with mere memories of them.  I need this warmth and this love and this closeness.

It’s not forever.

But I want this moment to last forever, even with the ache in my heart.  Even with the tears on my face and the choked sobs in my throat.  Do I look awful enough yet, with my blotchy cheeks and reddened eyes?

Don’t care.

“Don’t go.”  I murmur it into a shoulder; not sure whose it is.

“Idiot,” is the response I get.  “You’re the one who’s going.”

And I just sob harder, because I’m going to miss that voice.  This is the stupidest idea ever.  And it’s too late to change my mind.

This is about the time people start saying stupid things, isn’t it?  You’ll be back before you know it and You’ll be having so much fun you’ll forget all about us after five minutes.  But I won’t and I won’t.

I won’t.

It is forever.  Not matter what anyone says, it’s forever.  I know it somewhere, deep in my heart.  When I can bring myself to say goodbye, it’ll be for the last time.

I’ll never see them again.

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Comments

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Heh, I have no idea myself.

You're close to the prompt word (and it starts with the same letter, too).