Advice

[katiefoolery]

I apologise in advance to all the teenagers on my friends list, but what I am about to say is for your own good.  Really.  Reading this post may possibly prevent you from being mocked, laughed at or otherwise embarrassed in your dealings with those older than yourself. Listen well and learn.

Do you know what is the single most funny thing any teenager can say to an adult?  Do you know how you can reduce them to gales of mocking laughter in the space of five seconds?  Do you know how you can make yourself look like a complete moron without even trying?

Just say this:

“Adults have no idea what teenagers are doing.”

Eight words.  Eight simple words, and your reputation, your respectability and your intelligence are deflated quicker than a balloon meeting with an unfortunate accident with a hedgehog.

It really is the funniest thing any adult can hear, even an adult who’s only in her twenties.  I could laugh all day, just from turning the phrase over and enjoying the idioicy of it from different angles.  If someone actually said it to me in person, I really don’t believe I’d have the slightest chance of stopping myself from laughing in their face.

Seriously, where do teenagers like that think adults come from?  Surely they have the brains to realise that adults were teenagers once, too.  I know I was.  And I was really an awful person.  I was bad-tempered, opinionated and intolerant of stupidity.  Fortunately, I grew out of it but the point is that I was there once.  Just because I spent most of my teenage years in a book or in front of a computer doesn’t mean I wasn’t there.

Strange to say, every other adult in the world was a teenager, too.  And they know exactly what teenagers do.  Of course, now they have to face the fact that teenagers are doing those things with the help of the internet and other technological aids, but they’re still well aware of what’s going on.

Seriously.

They really didn’t just turn up one day, fully grown and completely ignorant of what happens between the ages of thirteen and nineteen, inclusive.  They actually went through it themselves.  They most likely did all those things that you think they’re ignorant of.  And if they didn’t do them, they sure as hell thought about doing them (repeatedly, if possible) or knew people who had done them.

So please – save yourself the embarrassment and don’t ever tell an adult they don’t know what teenagers are doing.  They know all about it and it’s even possible they did it better than you.

Comments

[naelany.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* Might one ask what prompted this bit of wisdom? ^_~

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

You may indeed, good Naelany. The thought came upon me yesterday, after a quote in an article from the weekend newspaper happened to catch my eye. It was an article about teenage girls and their thoughts, hopes and aspirations. One of them was staring out of her photograph quite confidently, claiming something along the lines of "parents have no idea of what the world of teenagers is like today". It made me snort with laughter (luckily, the library was empty at the time) and kept making me giggle all day. I just wanted to stop other teenagers from making themselves look just as silly. :)

[naelany.livejournal.com]

*chuckles*

[crazedturkey.livejournal.com]

ahahahahaha

right on sister!

*falls off chair due to hysterical laughter*

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Oof - I think you landed on me! I fell right there yesterday, after reading the article that inspired this post.



In un-related news, why don't I have a landmines icon?

[purpletigress.livejournal.com]

I think the thing is is that the pressures teens face are different as society changes. I've got a 14-year-old sister, so I guess I'm privileged to be able to have some kind of foot in both camps. The stories she tells me amaze me. Life was a lot more innocent when I was a teenager. I didn't know of anyone ever having sex while I was at high school. I assume it went on, but it definitely wasn't out in the open so much. The stats tell us kids are having sex at a much younger age.

I also don't remember peer pressure ever being an issue either in any real sense - it was just something I heard about on Degrassi Junior High. I knew there were a couple of parties where people drank, but not until year 12. It's been happening in my sister's peer group since the end of primary school. I certainly wasn't offered drugs and I didn't really know anything about them, but that's there too.

I don't think my life was all that sheltered. I know my sister's not rebellious. She doesn't do any of these things so she's not actively seeking them out. They're just there in places they weren't before, and so when teenagers say adults have no idea, there's probably some grain of truth to it.

I think the easy option is to scoff at the kids, but I'm not sure it's the right one all the time. I'm only 26. I'm sure life's changed a lot more dramatically since my parents were teenagers, and it'll no doubt change that much more between now and when my future children turn 13. I know teens are often self-centred and have a narrow worldview because of that, but I'm not sure we should dismiss their comments so readily.

[nikkidynamo.livejournal.com]

My Mother and I were both sitting here reading this (I am 26 and she is 46) and she wanted my to tell you that she was 14 when she lost her virginity.. yes 14 (thanks mum, just what I wanted to hear!) so.. count the years.. in 1974 when my mother was in school people were having sex in highschool. Perhaps you were just lucky enough not to have been surrounded with people who pressured you, or maybe you just werent paying attention to what was going on.. but things dont change that much. Not when it comes to young people and their hormones anyway!

[nikkidynamo.livejournal.com]

I just reread this and realised that it sounds a lot nastier than I intended it to be..
so I wanted to reply and say, Hey! that was meant to sound friendly and witty and not bitchy and harsh
and sorry if you took it that way! I guess I am not having a good communication day! :)

[purpletigress.livejournal.com]

None taken. I agree with you that teens have had sex in high school, and will continue to do so. However, I do think it's definitely more prevalent now. One only has to look at the Durex global sex survey. In 2005 the average 25-34 year old lost their virginity at 17.9. The 16-20 year olds lost their virginity at 16.3. That gap gets wider the further back you look.

I have two sisters who both went to the same school. One, the 24-year-old, looked for trouble but struggled to find it because there simply wasn't a lot to be had. The 14-year-old is a really good kid but can tell me some amazing stories about the world outside her peer group. Surely there's something in that. I know there were always exceptions and people acting outrageously at a very young age. However, I think the stories of delinquent behaviour are starting to become the norm rather than the exception.

God I'm sounding older than 26.

[nikkidynamo.livejournal.com]

In the case of the sex survey I think that perhaps the younger people now have more access to the survey so they are in a better position to respond and share their experiences where previously they wouldnt have been so free to do so. Also I think that these days talking about sex and discussing sexual experiences is much more accepted so the kids who are having sex are more likely to talk about it, with each other and with adults but previously sex before marriage for example was such a MASSIVE issue that it wasnt spoken about.

I honestly think that the only difference between my teenagehood and that of my children will be the kind of drugs that are available for them to experiment with.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

And it's very easy to lie on surveys, even official ones. When I was in Year Ten, my year level was asked to do an official survey on cheating and plagiarism. Some of us took it seriously, but most students just lied outrageously.

[nikkidynamo.livejournal.com]

also a good point.. in fact at the last census I made up a whole person

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Oh yes - young people and their hormones. What won't they do?

I was definitely aware of peer pressure and also the fact that some of my fellow students were using drugs and engaging in sex. This was in the early nineties and, from working in a secondary school, I can honestly say that I don't see any fundamental changes in teenagers. A lot of people tend to assume they're more technologically aware, for example, but they wouldn't say that if they'd seen some of the students I've had to assist in doing things on the library computers.

People are just people, only now they're people with technology and mobile phones. :D

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

It probably depends where you went to school and what people you associated with, too. I know I was very much aware of peer pressure from at least year seven and there were also notable events at my school such as the year ten social (with teachers and parents present, no less) where one girl introduced a boy to the wonders of oral sex... Not to mention the lesbians in the year below us.

And this was a Catholic secondary school, too. :D

Things definitely change but I think the basics stay the same. There'll be 'good' teenagers, there'll be 'wild' teenagers and they'll all think that their parents have no idea what they're thinking or doing.

[sirgallivant.livejournal.com]

Fortunately, I grew out of it but the point is that I was there once.

I like how you express this idea. Teenagers may think they live in a land isolated from the adult world, but in actual fact adults have been to that land and explored its secrets.

I think I had a very sheltered teenagehood, but I was mostly aware of what others were dabbling in around me.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I spent a lot of my teenage years in a book or writing on the computer, but, like you, I was most definitely aware of what was going on around me.

And thank-you for your kind words. :)

[tangledtale.livejournal.com]

Damn it! My raging, superiority complex ridden, waning teenager wants to rant about how you just DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PAIN! And my emerging 20 something wants to agree with a slight nod of the head and a small sip of the martini, while waiting for the conversation of change to the topic of jobs so that we can all communally complain and feel all grateful that now we have serious problems we can rightfully whinge about. :P

The cusp of adolescence and adulthood is so conflicting, woe!

[tangledtale.livejournal.com]

Meep, that "of" after the conversation should be a to, obviously.

[blindmouse.livejournal.com]

lol - I don't think I was ever gladder of anything, than the moment I could suddenly start talking about "when I was a teenager"... Heh.

But (and OK, I know this isn't really what this post's about, it's about the world supposedly changing while staying the same, etc), but I think we really don't understand what it was like, once we're out of it. I know I can remember what it was like to be a teenager, god knows it wasn't very long ago - but when I reread my diaries, half the time I can actually remember writing the words, but it still feels incredibly alien.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I have the transcripts of the letters my cousin and I wrote to each other when we were teenagers. It reminds me of all the silly things I did and the bizarre things I thought and I like the way those snippets can jog my memory and remind me vividly of how I was back then. Mostly I'm just grateful I'm not a teenager any more! :P

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

^
^
^
*whaps your preposition for misbehaving*

How rude of it.


Also:
*grugs*

Oh, the angst, good Galli! Nothing is as confusingly painful as this cusp of which you speak. :P

So, how's your job?

[blackswans.livejournal.com]

But didn't you know? Parents and other annoying adults came out of the womb full-grown and that is why they have no knowledge of teenage life. Surely that must be it.

::scoff::

I hated that "adults know nothing" philosophy even when I was a teenager.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Yes, it frustrated me too. But the reverse frustrates me just as much, ie. when adults claim children know nothing. When I was at uni, I workshopped a story where the only person who saw the truth of things was a ten year old girl. Someone commented that they didn't like the girl being a main character because "kids don't feel things the way adults do" - this, of course, was meant in an incredibly derogative manner. This person earned himself the title "git" in my eyes.

[blackswans.livejournal.com]

Yes; that's just as shallow.

[dizzy-liz.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'm a teenager! :-P But yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I don't like the attitude either. And when people go 'round thinking that they shouldn't take older people's advice? 'Cause as you say, it's hte adults who been through it all, and most like have something wise to offer! :-)

That said, there are adults who seem to have forgotten what it was like to be young, and the various struggles and everything that teens face. But then, they are few and far between, and definitely not the norm.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

You're right - there definitely are people who seem to have forgotten what it's like to be young. I hope I never do. I can still laugh at teenagers saying silly things, but I can also remembering saying silly things myself.

[elfie-chan.livejournal.com]

I would also like to add that, by avoiding that phrase, teenagers will also avoid the knowing smirk that may cross the adult's face as he/she remembers those years in his/her own life.

Most of us adults (speaking from the wise old age of 28) remember what it was like to be a teenager. Some things (like technology and some attitudes) have changed, but the basic experiences (first date, first breakup, wanting to be liked, making tough decisions while fighting with emotional craziness) are still the same.

Teenagers aren't stupid, as a rule. They just lack life experience. They do manage to make themselves look silly a good deal of the time, but then, don't we all?

But I will never say those words. I didn't say them when I was a teenager, because I knew better.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Oh very definitely, good Elfie! You really wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that knowing smirk. You might find out things you never wanted to know.

The best time to make silly mistakes is as a teenager, because people will forgive you. Everyone knows you're just working things out and it's inevitable that you'll look daft at least once or twice. But this is something people can so easily avoid! :)

[rilla06.livejournal.com]

It reminds me about something my English teacher said at the start of the year. He said that it would be really really stupid to sit up the back of the classroom if you were going to muck around, because teachers know that kids think it's 'cool' to sit up the back and therefore watch them more closely (and end up giving out detentions... )

*realises that this doesn't have much to do with the topic*

Meh. My friends all spend their time whining about the adults in their lives, and I feel left out, coz I have no problem with any adults in mine. I think I get along with adults more than people my own age :/

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Ah, your English teacher should have kept quiet! Then the kids up the back wouldn't be on their guard against him. ;)

[alankria.livejournal.com]

I remember back in German class how the 'naughty' girls would sit at the back and our teacher would always have her eye on them. If they even yawned funny, she'd be going mental. I sat in the central front desk, literally two feet away from where she stood, and regularly did my biology homework (due next class).

Mwa ha ha!

[cat-eyes-el.livejournal.com]

Not that I actually whine about this ever, but... Ok, yes, it is incrediably stupid, because obviously they were there some time, but I remain convinced some adults have either forgotten how old they were at the time or are trying to convince themselves they were older. Maybe it's just those who work in schools...


:P :P :P


It did occur to me the other day that we don't know what the affects of TV and computer games are on people as they grow up yet. Ok, so a lot of the 20-30yo grew up with TV too (although I think they were watching better programs... less BB, more Hey Hey :P) but not the computer games. I mean, we know what too much computer games and so on does to the 7 year old, but what about when the 7 year old reaches semi-maturity at 20? Or more maturity at 30? Hmmm?

Yes, ok, I think i'm ranting now... But this came up because the other day my Dad was talking about how he never wached TV as a kid. His family got one when he was in grade 6 and a year later he went to boarding school, so not all that long with a TV, really.


Anyway, I think I've completely lost my point... Back to it, I know hormones were the same the whole time, but you can't pretend things haven't changed.

Remember: Adults are always the ones telling us the streets used to be safer. You noticed the change first, not us. We're just living it.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Hey, Cat, we most definitely grew up with computer games. Believe me. And they're still being played by some people. (Not me, though. Certain Timothies, however...)

[cat-eyes-el.livejournal.com]

Not one dies in Pacman :P

[cat-eyes-el.livejournal.com]

No* There isn't a giant one dying in all other games...

[bunhusband.livejournal.com]

Didnt grow up with computer games? Where did you grow up? I am 36 or 37 and i was playing computer games in year 7, however long ago that was, i can assure you that people died in the games i played in, i will mention Doom as a gun toting, alien blowing up game. There were plenty of Roleplaying games on the PC as well, games whose design was to make a character, go out in the world and kill stuff. I remember "Leisure suit Larry" was bringing sex into young peoples life when i was at school, and of course, us computer nerds had all the best porn. So as to adults not knowing what its like to have violent PC games, i say you are a bit off in your comments.

Kids are kids whatever they grow up with, if its heroin these days it was Pot in older days, there has and will always be sex at a young age wherever you are. Whatever kids are going through these days, the adults have all been there and done that. I litterally cringe with shame remembering what i was like when i was a kid, i knew it all, and more than my parents ever did, and i do not doubt that the kids of this generation will figure out the same thing when they grow up.

[crazedturkey.livejournal.com]

if it wasn't computer games it would have been public hangings...

teenagers have always felt that they were somehow rebellious and special. It's a part of growing up... something I suspect you will realise yourself in the fullness of time Cat.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I never played pacman.

[flippyfrog.livejournal.com]

waka waka waka


.... sorry, couldn't help myself :P

[flippyfrog.livejournal.com]

YOu know what, when i see a local TAG being all angsty and rabbiting on about how "no one understands them" I either get grumpy at their stupidity, or start giggling at their conforming. I love it when they think they're the first ones to ever feel that way, and that no one else has ever in their lives suffered from such things.

nongs.

I do think that some things have become worse. But then i start wondering if things really have become worse, or simply less hidden. Things don't exist until you name it. And people are growing up with more media saturation, and more commercialisation, and more parents not giving a shit. But then again, is this a case of it having always been happening, and we've just noticed it (or been media saturated ourselves), or is it new?

There's this silly stat out there that says that women suffer from depression more now they're in the workforce then they did when they were more prominately housewives. But i would argue that the reason this is the case is because what housewife in their right mind would admit depression in the 1950s? So how can such stats be correct when the taboo for having depression is still lingering.

But still, silly nongheads. I was one of the first generations to grow up with the internet, so bite me. :P

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I was reading a book once where the states of "happiness", I guess, of people in different situations at some stage in the recent past. The happiest people were married men and unmarried women. The least happy people were unmarried men and married women. So people who quote that depression statistic and go do something painful to themselves.

Yep - nongheads. :P

[(Anonymous)]

When I was a teen, I told myself I'd never treat my kid like my mom, strict and on my case. Now I'm a parent and--ack--I'm turning into her. ;)
-Kelly Parra

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

It's odd, isn't it? I don't have any kids, but I still find myself saying the sort of things my mum would say or doing things that she'd do.

[alankria.livejournal.com]

I'm the same (no kids yet) but I've recently started to see sense in a lot of the stuff she did when I was younger. And I vowed that I'd never be liked her because "she didn't love me waaaaah". Granted, I'd try to be around more (the major problem between me and my mum was her having a long job so we just didn't get to know each other), but that's about all I'd do different to her.

I think I turned out okay in the end. Rather like me than like some of the girls I see hanging around bus stops in their too-short skirts with flab hanging out, smoking and getting pregnant at 14.

See? I'm in fact a middle aged woman now. I feel so old when I say stuff like that. ("Kids these days...") Scary thing is, I am technically still a teenager. Only 5 months to go, w00t!

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

It's funny the way your perspective changes, isn't it? I used to think my parents were too strict and that they were mean to me and didn't love me and angst, angst, angst! Then, as I grew a bit older, I was amazed that they were able to be that strict; that they had the strength to discipline me and my brother, even though it must have hurt them when we said awful things or cried in response. Instead of resenting them, I had an amazing respect for them.

Oh yes, the ever-useful "kids these days..." It's scary how often it springs to my mind, begging me to utter it!