The Hardest Thing

[katiefoolery]

The hardest thing about writing is starting.

Well, unless you count those days when nothing works.

Or those other days, when you think everything you write stinks and no-one will ever publish it anyway, so what’s the point?

Or the times when you have to edit instead of writing and you start losing any faith you previously had in your ability to form coherent sentences.

Or when your characters refuse to behave and your dialogue sounds as though it was written by a horse, albeit a rather intelligent horse, as far as horses go.

Or...

Look, I could go on but the point is that while these things are also quite difficult and annoying in their way, the absolute hardest thing about writing is starting.  Ironically, it’s also the easiest thing.  You know, this business of writing really is a confusing business at times.

If you look at it one way, it’s almost ridiculously easy to sit in front of a blank screen and start typing a couple of words.  Nothing easier, yes?  You put your fingers on the keys and write “Jeannie was quite precocious for her age and liked to annoy people by playing the violin really well without ever seeming to practise”.  That was easy.  I mean, the second draft of Black Fiddle is never going to start that way, but how easy was it just to pop those words on the screen?

On the other hand, sometimes it’s a lot easier to make a cup of tea, then another cup of tea, because some bastard drank yours when you weren’t looking.  And while you’re at it, why not cook some scones, scrub the stove clean, wash the linen and re-lay the carpets in the bedrooms?  Because, all of a sudden, that seems a great deal easier than sitting down and putting a couple of fingers to work on the keyboard.

It’s not the act of typing that’s so difficult – it’s the overwhelming mountain of pressure and expectation and self-doubt that sits in front of the keyboard.  Sometimes, it’s really difficult to surmount it.  Other times, it’s easy to remember you can just sort of skirt around it and try to pretend it’s not there.

This is my problem at the moment, though.  I have at least three stories and two second drafts wanting to be done, but I just can’t work my way around that mountain.  I can’t remind myself that I can just duck in there and the keyboard will be immediately accessible.

Or it could be that I spend far too much time analysing these things instead of writing fiction.  That could certainly be a major factor.

Or it could be that I’m lazy.  ‘Could be’... what am I saying?  I am lazy.  I’m quite possibly the laziest writer there is.  If there was a competition for lazy writers, I can assure you, I wouldn’t be there.  I’d be here at home, lounging about reading or wandering aimlessly about the internet – that’s how lazy I am.

I think this is point where I sigh, look forlorn and then decide to stop being such a git.  At least, I really hope it is.

Comments

[decryption.livejournal.com]

I've got to write a few product reviews, and I still can't be bothered doing them, hah

Not to mention articles for the magazine. I feel your pain fellow writer!

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

All this laziness and procrastination can't be good for us...

[blindmouse.livejournal.com]

Or the times when you have to edit instead of writing and you start losing any faith you previously had in your ability to form coherent sentences.

Actually this is my favourite part. At least at the beginning of the process, before I've read and changed the story so many times that I can't even remember what I was trying to achieve and I can see all the rubbed out lines underneath muddying up the paragraph.

Starting is indeed difficult. And the worst of it is that it doesn't actually get easier once you have started. Or not in practical way. So many times I'm bowling along, thinking, "Hey, look at me, that was so easy, I finally started... Hm... Virtue... might just reward myself with a cup of tea... maybe check my email... actually I was going to read that fic rec... " It's such a useless kind of procrastinating. I'm constantly amazed by my propensity to procrastinate about doing things I actually enjoy. Study, too, not just writing.

[disturbed-kiwi.livejournal.com]

I've recently been going back editing some short stories of mine. I am frankly shocked at them. Sentances that don't make sense. jokes, themes or just useful description that get started but not finished.

Editing. Evil yet oh so good as well.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Yes, this is definitely the down side of editing. At the moment, I'm looking over the first chapter of the story I posted on FictionPress and I'm quite sorry people actually forced themselves to read it. I owe them all a huge apology! On the other hand, it's lovely to be editing and discover that, despite all the rubbish, there's actually quite a lot of good stuff, too.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I do that too! I think I make more cups of tea when I'm writing than at any other given time. And yes - aren't we supposed to enjoy this whole business of writing? I know I really want to write at least two of the stories in my head, so why aren't I doing so? It beggars belief sometimes.

I don't mind editing when it's going well but when it looks like nothing is good enough to even use as a back-bone, it can be quite depressing.

[the-kaytinator.livejournal.com]

Do you have a set time for writing? It's not my cup of tea, but since you're such a notorious writing procrastinator, maybe you should give it a try?

Failing that, I strongly recommend the 10 Point Plan.

I find a little rigidity and self-imposed rule making is very good for my writing and forces me to focus a little more than I otherwise would.

There's also the system I use for uni work which is a very strict but effective reward system. For example "I will write 2000 words of this essay and then spend some time on Obernet." or "I will NOT skip that lecture, but instead go, and then I will buy myself a Crunchie."
-The trick of course is sticking rigidly to your own reward system. If I don't write those 2000 words or go to that lecture, then I DON'T get that reward I promised myself.

That's three approaches I can suggest, anyway. Be stricter with yourself and impose more rules on your writing time. I know that's not very Free-Spirited Leaf-on-the-Wind Wanderish of me, but it really is effective.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

A notorious writing procrastinator? Shocking! You know, I'd write a rebuttal to that, but I think I have some cutlery to sort somewhere...

I've tried the reward system and it works quite well, so I might have to go back to that. It's my day off tomorrow and that sounds like as good a time as any to stop being lazy. :)

[flippyfrog.livejournal.com]

You know what will solve this: LANDMINES!!


okay, and if that doesn't work, i really honestly cannot help you. I'm currently sulking about my work at the moment too. I'm avoiding it so much i'm actually using Uni as an excuse not to type. You know things are sad when that happens.

And I'm sure the carpet needed that relaying, and one can't possibly be expected to write with that hanging over their heads.

What you need to do is find something that you have to do, yet hate more than writing, and so go back to writing as a means to escape that. It's such a bugger you've already done your tax. That could have worked a treat :P

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Indeed, landmines fix everything. ;)

Hehe - yes, that carpet hanging over our heads was a clear sign that something was wrong. For instance, why was it hanging over our heads instead of lying under our feet? Oh, I could go on but I'll spare you.

There's always the census, I suppose. I had a short tax form and it only took me about ten minutes to fill out. That's small fry in the world of procrastination.

[flippyfrog.livejournal.com]

oh, please do go on, i don't need to be spared.

Maybe the owners thought it might make a nice change to the everyday ceiling, and were heavily influence by Turkey, but didn't have any nice floating material so they had to use carpet...

[minnn.livejournal.com]

My problem's not starting - it's finishing. I very, very rarely finish anything.

How is it that you can say you're lazy? You love writing. We can't be lazy about the things we love, can we? I see it more as you're prioritising your time. You don't have 12 hours to attack this or that story with the effort you'd love to put into it, you have 20 minutes, all of which would probably be taken up opening the document and rereading the last couple of paragraphs.

I find that's my biggest hurdle, that I don't feel I'll ever overcome - I can't just write in the couple of spare minutes I have, because I *want* to devote hours to it. As I don't have those hours, I don't do it.

It's so funny your talking about this today, I was about to vent here how Amielle is demanding attention, and I don't know why. She's in the back of my mind, hopping up and down screaming at me to let her do something, god knows what, and I just don't have the time...
It sucks.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Oh yes - characters shouting and poking and kicking up a fuss in one's mind because you haven't written their stories yet... I have plenty of those at the moment. I really need simply to make the time to deal with that, don't I?

[saltedpin.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel - I spend countless hours roaming around on the internet, looking at things that bore me to tears for no reason other than procrastination from any number of things that aren't even that unpleasant, like my German homework or essay research. I really don't know what's wrong with me :/

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Well, whatever's wrong with you is wrong with me, too. I'd blame the internet but I love it too much.

*hugs internet*

[charliemc.livejournal.com]

Yes.

Starting is the hardest thing -- of many hard things. (I'm feeling equally lazy, I think...)

(hugs)

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Indeed, you're quite right. Starting is difficult just in itself. :)

[blackswans.livejournal.com]

I can soooooooo relate.

I think that's why taking part in something like NaNoWriMo would be good for me. It would take all the thinking out of the writing process and I would be forced to just write... no matter what. Could be a very healthy exercise.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I keep trying to do NaNo and then stopping, because I just can't manage to write without thinking. Many of my friends have done it, though, and say it's a most beneficial exercise.

[naelany.livejournal.com]

Don't make me re-direct you to the Yarn Harlot again ^_~. Go with the flow, your muse'll kick you hard enough into gear, soon enough ^_^ *hugs*

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Hehe! I keep thinking of that post you linked me too whenever I feel like this and it always re-assures me that there is a way to stop being lazy and that other writers are feeling my pain!

[naelany.livejournal.com]

*grins* glad to be of service m'am! ^_~ (by the way, that should be to with one o, not too with two ^_~)

[elfie-chan.livejournal.com]

*grins* Your entry reminds me of a Douglas Adams bit I read once where he was talking about coming up with ideas. He said that he tended to procrastinate by making sandwiches, cups of tea, and having baths. I seem to recall that he called Zaphod Beeblebrox a "three-bath idea."

I think that the most difficult thing about writing is continuing. I have started Cassandra about three or four times now. Starting is easy. However, going on from that point is very, very difficult. I keep rewriting the first few paragraphs because they just aren't good enough. Plus, I'm a bit afraid that this story isn't as splendid as it seems in my head, and pinning it down in black and white will just make it look rather dingy and sad.

You should write a Jane letter. That would make you feel better. *wink* Of course, now I want some scones. Alex and I bought Devon clotted cream, scone mix, and blackcurrant jam today...

*snugs and offers chocolate, the ultimate inspiration!*

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

You know, I have half a page of notes written out for my next Jane letter, along with some lovely hints and mysteries to insert. As well as the plendierous dressing table chair with which Jane is rather besotted. Ack! I can't believe it was February when I last did anything on Jane! That seems ridiculously long. Today! It shall be done - or at least started - today!

I, too, suffer from the feeling that the story I'm writing isn't quite the marvellous thing I anticipated in my head. And I do the constant re-writing of the first few paragraphs, too. When I eventually start, that is.

[elfie-chan.livejournal.com]

Today! It shall be done - or at least started- today!

HUZZAH!

I hate self-doubt. It is so annoying.