15_minute_fic // Prompt word: solitude // “Close to Insanity”

[katiefoolery]

Need... more... sleep...  And I need to spend much more time glaring at cats for being partially responsible for said sleepiness.  Huzzah for them causing crashes that wake me up at quarter to six!  And huzzah for the fact that I probably only managed another ten minutes of sleep before the alarm so kindly woke me up at six thirty!  Heh - I say “woke me up” out of habit, because I was already wide awake.

Anyway, ’tis ficlet time again.  If you have a spare fifteen minutes and an urge to write, why not head over to 15_minute_fic and pick up your prompt word?

Before I stand aside for the ficlet, I think this is worth saying: I’m after all kinds of feedback.  If you read and like my ficlet, then of course I’m delighted to know.  If you read it and think it’s awful or that there’s something I really need to address in my writing, then I’m just as eager to know that.  So don’t be afraid to send concrit my way - if I can give it, I can take it too. :)

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Title: Close to Insanity
Fandom: Original
Rating: G
Word count: 427 words
Prompt word: solitude


I absolutely hate it.  I’m serious.  For a while there, I thought that maybe I’d get used to it and it wouldn’t seem so bad after all.

I was so very wrong.

Now, the best I can hope for is that I’ll go completely insane and start talking to those pretty, shiny rocks in the stream over there.  At least if I’m talking to rocks, I wouldn’t be thinking about where I am or what I’m doing.

Or the fact that I’m completely alone.  Take a look around - there’s no-one to be seen for miles.  Yesterday… well, I think it was yesterday.  It’s hard to keep track of days sometimes.  So, possibly yesterday, I spent an afternoon on top of that peak there, watching some hikers travelling across the plains.  I literally watched them for hours, until they turned into black specks on the horizon.  And then I watched those black specks until they vanished.

So maybe I’m pretty close to insanity already.

I hate it all.  I hate the stupid hut.  I hate the view.  I hate the fresh air.  I hate the way the clouds look so beautiful against the deep blue sky.  I hate the soothing sound the stupid stream makes in the night.

And I hate the way I have to go and pick up my basket of food every two days, because I also hate the way I can’t bring myself to break her rules and get there early enough to “accidentally” meet her.

I’ve imagined it a hundred times.  Maybe a thousand.

Oh, I’m so sorry, I’d say.  I didn’t meant to get here so early - I still can’t get the hang of telling the TIME WITHOUT A WATCH.  Sometimes I swear there, but usually not because if there’s one thing I know I wouldn’t do (even by accident), it’s swear in front of my grandmother.

And the reason I’ll never actually go there early and say those things?  Because I can picture that look of disappointment I’d receive all too clearly.  I saw it once just a few months ago and it still hurts to think of it.

So I’m just going to stay here and either go steadily insane and begin to understand the quiet and most likely non-existent language of river-rocks… or learn whatever it is I’m supposed to be learning.  No-one said I had to be happy about the whole situation.

I’ll tell you one thing, though: if I ever start thinking, Oh, this isn’t so bad after all, then I’m heading straight home.

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Comments and criticisms are most appreciated. :D

Comments

[gravityslave.livejournal.com]

LOL
I love it! That's a lot like how I've been feeling for awhile. Sometimes enlightenment is mysteriously walking away from you at precisely the same speed at which you are walking toward it. It pisses me right off.

Very much enjoyed. Thanks for posting. Have you read mine yet? It's too curtly written, I think, but I had no idea where it was going to go.
These exercises frequently lead to other story ideas for me, which is one of my favourite things about them. :-)

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Thank-you muchly. :) And I know what you mean about these ficlets leading to other story ideas - the story behind this one is quite complex and it didn't exist until I saw the word.

I'm just reading your ficlet now. I don't tend to read them until I've seen the prompt word myself, just in case I work out what is by accident...

[crazedturkey.livejournal.com]

Ah...Katie's grumpy again!


But I liked the take on enlightenment. I really, really did :)

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Hehe - I'm not grumpy, really I'm not! I have no idea why all of these ficlets either seem to be angry or frustrated...

Glad you liked it, good Gill. :)