On Lists and Personas

[katiefoolery]

I need to write exactly two thousand, two hundred and ninety-seven words in the next few days if I hope to meet my November target of ten thousand words.  And you know what?  I can do that.  Easily.  Tonight, in fact, if I actually get my act together.

Of course, it’s entirely likely that I’ll forget this intention to write and instead spend the evening reading fanfic, messing about on messageboards and writing pointless lists of stuff.  But I shall do my best not to let that happen.  Well, much.

Besides, the pointless lists will be about writing, so they practically count towards my word count, don’t they?

*looks hopeful*

I really do need to make a list of these stories in my head, otherwise I’ll lose track of them.  And maybe if I write them down, that will keep them separate and they’ll stop bumping into each other and making new little baby stories to add to the litter.  I’m only one person!  I can only write so much.  And that procrastinating takes a huge chunk out of my time, too.

In non-writing news, I’m finding myself increasingly alienated from this person who used to be “Buneater”.  It’s quite a bizarre sensation, considering that’s who I’ve been pretty much since I first set foot on the ’net.  But she seems to belong in the past and she keeps pulling away from me, looking askance at who I am now and raising a disdainful eyebrow at the stories that come into my head these days.  And it’s OK with me, because I don’t really feel like “Buneater” any more.  I think I’m almost ready to start saying my goodbyes to her and move onto something new.  ’Cause there's a great deal of fun stuff in my life that isn’t related to Bunliness at all.  Yes indeed.

Mind you, there’s still a fair bit that is attached to Bunliness, but I can cope with that.  Being introduced to people’s friends and family as “Bunne” is quite a unique experience, really.

But I’d be interested to know if anyone else has done what I seem to be doing: switching one internet identity for the other.  Is it always such a strange experience?  Or is it just a matter of using a different name?  And how do you keep from potentially alienating people who have always known you by your first “identity”?

Comments

[alankria.livejournal.com]

I used to be Chibialandra over on fanfic.net, and then when I turned 18 I decided I should drop the 'chibi' part, but some cow had already taken Alandra so I made up the name Alankria. Somehow, it's become far more me than Chibialandra ever was, and even to the extent that I momentarily considered using Alankria Dally as my pen-name (until I remembered that having a unisex name, Alex, is always an advantage because some men won't read things written by a woman, especially not one with a name like Alankria Dally) (Dally being my middle name and mother's surname). I lost some readership on fanfic.net because of the name change, but I was already drifting away so I didn't care.

Stop procrastinating on LJ and write! *is a hypocrite*

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Hehe - technically, I wasn't on LJ when I wrote this. I was at LJ-less boring old work. Mind you, I still could have done some writing, so it's no excuse really.

I quite like "Alankria" and I was wondering where that came from - and now I know. :D And curse these heartless people who keep stealing my friends' usernames!

[naelany.livejournal.com]

first name I ever was known by (and am still known by, by some of my old friends) is iyanla (yes, lowercase, just like my current name).

*blinks* and I lost my train of thought -_-.... I hate when that happens lol

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

*has a look around for Naelany's lost train of thought*

I wonder where it got to?

"Iyanla" sounds like a splendid name by which to be known. So you don't like to use capital letters on your internet names? Or is that just a coincidence? (Actually, I hadn't really noticed - I tend to capitalise names by default.)

[naelany.livejournal.com]

I don't know! I still haven't found it *chuckles*.

It was a good name, and turned out rather apt lol. It means "Great Mother", and though I'm no mother by any means, I always seemed to "mother" people and "pick up strays" in roleplay lol.
No, I don't, because I always mess it up rofl. So I figured I'd make life easier on myself and just go lowercase ^_~

[rigel-7.livejournal.com]

I used to be linnet (and numerical variations thereof) for most of my internet life (however Ober had that name already taken, so I shoved in Rigel - the name of my favourite star) and the name really grew on me. It became the new internet me

It's funny though because here on LJ - unless you actually go and look at my journal, most people think of me as linnet_101 now, cos Rigel and several Rigel variations were taken :D

I think of you as Bunne/Katie. Bunne for me is your nickname, and I think I'll always associate it with you. But when I talk about you (or the other LorFers) I use your real names :D Except for Flit - for some reason :P

[flippyfrog.livejournal.com]

Because i'm a bizarre oddity and i don't look like a Jenny... at least this is what i was told the other day by my midgets. But they thought i looked more like an Ethel, so i think there goes their sense of judgement :P

It might be because Bunne introduces herself as "Katie of Bunne." Turks uses Gill more than Turks on Lorf, and... well... Everyone else has names similar to their own if not their own. Except Fred. Do you call Fred, Fred, or Lauren?

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

You look like an Ethel? I wouldn't say that. You look like a... a Flit. Yes, definitely a Flit.

In my case, I call Fred "Fred" when she's online and "Lauren" in real life. You know, all of the one times I've actually spoken to her in real life... Also, Fred is technically a seagull and she doesn't look like a seagull at all, so that makes it easier to call her Lauren when she's right in front of me. :P

[seagull-fred.livejournal.com]

Heehee, how funny :) Sorry, I might owe some people apologies, coz I seem to address people with their online names, regardless...is that some weird form of un-netiquette...? eep...

I reckon it mostly comes down to switching the name, but it depends how badly you want to switch it. For me, I never want to change my Zev status in other parts of the cyberworld, so it just...won't happen. Even if people there started calling me Lauren, I'd insist on firmly talking about myself as Zev, so they'd get the picture ;-) But it was easy to change to Fred on ober.net, simply coz it was so darn confusing with the number of Laurens around there! Plus my login is still Lauren, so it wasn't like I was totally changing it, so I guess that was like a security blanket for me :-)

So as long as you're comfortable with the name change and you're willing to embrace it (and encourage people to use it more often than using Bunne, like me and Zev!!) then I don't think it'll be a problem at all.

As for the alienation...I've had some mates who have changed their aliases without telling me...!! so that's a pretty mean indication of how they feel about me...my suggestion there is to make sure everyone who you'd like to know, knows, otherwise people will get miffed if they haven't been informed about where you've gone. But again, if you want to remain partially Bunlified, then it probably won't matter too much to those people who have always known you as the Buneater, anyway.

I'm glad I don't look seagullian, btw :D

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I certainly wouldn't change my name without letting people know! That's an incredibly inconsiderate thing for people to do. It seems to hint that they don't want to be found again. If I end up changing my LJ name, for instance, there'll be plenty of warning.

I don't think I'd mind if people kept calling me Bunne or even Buneater; I wouldn't want to deny or cut off that part of my life. It just feels as though "Buneater" is living more and more in the past, instead of moving on with me. It's one of the more bizarre feelings I've experienced in my life... :|

Hehe - you definitely don't look seagullian. :D

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I tend to alternate when talking about (or to) the LorFers. Sometimes, you'll be "Rig" and other times, I'll remember to call you "Bec". However, I think Flit's the only one who could get both names in the one sentence. Usually, I manage to at least separate everyone else out long enough to keep their names consistent.

With me, I think it's Em who stays as Em. She just feels very Em-ish to me.

[emerald85.livejournal.com]

Hehe. I feel Em-ish. I don't mind being called Em. I like it and it's as much my name now as Aimee I suppose. And online you are all your online names, but when i talk about you to my mum I try to use your real names, but it does get hard when i know you all first by a different name. I must confuse her a lot.

I can't be terrible helpful in this area cause I feel no great connections to names. I don't hold any great fondness for my name, which is probably why.

But i will always know you as Bunne or Buneater from Ober.net no matter what you change your online name to. And you wont be alienating us or saying you want nothing to do with us just cause you're changing your name. We love you for who you are, not what you are called! :D

*grugs*

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I'm the same with my name - I never really felt like a Kathryn. It just seemed to be a handy way to refer to myself without actually meaning much to me. Katie feels more like me and so does Bunne, weirdly enough.

And thank-you, Em - that was such a sweet thing to say. :D

*grugs back*

[crazedturkey.livejournal.com]

resolves to make an effort to call you Katie...

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Oh, you don't have to do that. I quite like being called Bunne. :D It's just... I keep feeling this weird distance between myself now and how I used to be when I was "Buneater". It's quite difficult to explain, really.

[crazedturkey.livejournal.com]

You know I think in many ways, I've just come full circle.
I used to have an online handle as Princess or PrincessG, which was so a teenage thing to do.

crazedturkey is just a name I used, because you could always guarentee that noone else would have used it already. Which is how that happened. Which is funny, because now people occasionally call me Turks in public, and it makes me laugh, because it had no real origin other than annoyance that Gill was always taken!

But I have to say, I like being called Turks occasionally. It's like some groovy nickname that only a few people understand. It lets me play a part every now and again, which keeps me entertained :D

But really, I think, most people call me Gillian or Gill. Which means after a long line of internet addies and nicknames, I've just ended up being myself.

LOL, and I'm sure you introduced me to Bindi as Turks, so it works both ways :p.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Hehe - did I really introduce you as Turks? I wonder what I called everybody else... Ah well - as long as Bindi got the impression we were all certifiably insane, then I'm happy.

The good thing about "Buneater" was that it was rarely ever taken before I arrived. I can't say the same for "Katie"...

[bethamphetam1ne.livejournal.com]

Hmm, yes, I can definitely relate. My first permanent internet persona was Polyesta Girl and it still remains my Hotmail and eBay account among other things but I found myself gradually outgrowing it a few years ago. I chose "demimonde" for my LJ name for no real reason other than I liked the word. Over the last couple of years, I grew into "bethamphetamine" and decided to adopt it all round - unfortunately when I went to change my LJ account over, some dirty mole had stolen it!

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I love your "bethamphetamine" name - 'tis most amusing. How dare someone else steal it from you!

[flippyfrog.livejournal.com]

I used to be Mara, then there was Alantarial (what a wank of a name, but it was my Elvish name and if you couldn't tell, i was a LOTR nut back then... still am) but i never kept any internet friends that way. It wasn't until Obernet, and Flit was a throwaway name because i didn't think i would be on there for long (geez, did i luck out on that?) But it kind of fits. I quite like having it for a nickname, and i sometimes go through bizarre moments of thinking of myself as a Flit rather than a Jenny...

I suppose Flippyfrog is a name i grew out of. I went from calling myself that, to using it as a designated place. Instead of my name, it's more like the title of my home. So my LJ is flippyfrog, but my name is Flit... an alias inside an alias.... only i just gave everyone my real name, so i suppose it just lost any weight it might have had...

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, Alantarial. Hehe. You exotically-named lurker, you.

You're one of the people who gets both names from me. The nosy-heads will ask me who I'm talking to on msn and one day, it'll be "Jen" and the next, it'll be "Flit".

[dizzy-liz.livejournal.com]

Does the word count include anything? Like, letters etc? I have no problems there!

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

I'm only including fiction in my word-count, otherwise I think I'd abuse it a little too much. :D

[sirgallivant.livejournal.com]

Oh dear! A part of me felt very mournful reading your post. I wanted to point to the bun on top of your head and say 'Look! It's still there, see!?' But of course, we can't keep buns on our heads forever.

I've always thought of you as both the Buneater and as Katie. You're mostly the Buneater to me, but you were Master Katie at one stage too so the Katie has stayed.

I think I've been 'Gally' or other derivatives of 'Sir Gallivant' almost since I began on the internet. The name is kind of irrelevant now, but as irrelevancy is something to be celebrated, I keep it.

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Irrelevancy is a splendid thing indeed!

*cherishes irrelevancy*

I don't want to alarm you, but I had to send the bun away some time ago. It was starting to think for itself... and I didn't quite like the turn of its thoughts. Really, it's lucky Ol' Percy's Bun Bakery is so close to me. :D

A little bit of me will always be very Buneaterish and I don't want to alienate people who have always known me as the Buneater... it's a very strange situation, really.

[charliemc.livejournal.com]

You know, you discussed this before some time back, changing your LJ name... (Online identity?)

Anyway, I personally always think of you as Katie first, so I wouldn't mind a change at all -- whatever name you decide you prefer.

I strongly feel that if you don't like the name you're using, then you need to change it. It's about you, first and foremost!

I've had more than one LJ friend change names here, so I think it can work out just fine, by the way... (And it's not like you're telling anyone that they can't ever use the old name, is it?)

Keep us posted on this, of course, dearheart...

(hugs)

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Yes - I keep discussing it and then not doing anything about it. I think I'm mostly concerned about alienating people or offending people who've known me by that name for some time. It's not that I don't like the name, more that it doesn't seem to apply to me as much as it used to.

Thank-you muchly for your support, good Charlie. It's much appreciated. :D

[drscruffy.livejournal.com]

I've gone through several internet-persona metamorpheses... When I was young and didn't know any better, I was just 'Carmel'. I then realised that I needed a proper pseudonym, and I was "Wench of the Gods". I was Wench pretty much exclusively for many, many years and like you I have many very close friends that just seem incapable of calling me anything but Wench or Wenchie. I don't mind - it's part of who I am. But, as I got older, I also started to realise that I wasn't really that girl anymore. And now, whilst some of my nearest and dearest will always call me Wenchie, I don't really feel like that person anymore.

It's a strange feeling - but I'm kind of comfy with it. It's a bit like looking back over my highschool year books - I look at the photos of me, and whilst I know that it me smiling out of the grainyt black & white world, it's a me that doesn't even know the people who are my closest friends, who doesn't have the same dreams, hopes or aspirations. So yeah, it's a strange feeling, but not an unpleasant one. I don't really know what precipitated the change, except that Scruffy is the name that Scott has always called me, so maybe it's all his fault... :)

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

That year book analogy of yours is quite accurate, good Scruffy aka Wenchie aka Carmel. ;) Whenever I think of who Buneater is (or was), I think of the past. I'll never regret or resent the name, because it brought me much joy and it came with many plendiferous friends who I cherish dearly.

I think a little part of me will be Buneater forever, though. :)

[girl-in-melb.livejournal.com]

hmm switched from the initial nick on net - miss chaos to so many things..

end conclusion is that every nick i choose - i dont necessarily let the old mates know.. unless i really enjoy their company on net about my changed nick..

i guess at the end of the day .. they all depict different aspects of us at different times? =P

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

You're right there - these many online names just reflect who and where we were at the time, don't they?

[tryniamerin.livejournal.com]

I've gone by both Tryniamerin and StarbearerTM, so I sorta understand your quandry. But I've known lots of users who frequently swap ids depending on what site or email they join. So sometimes when I get an IM or something from a 'new' person I get a bit surprised when they expect I should know them. Then I have to change the whole list of contacts... I haven't chosen a name that has been used by someone else. But it sounds like this person attaches a LOT of significance to their ID when they need to realize that a name is a name... and how important is a name versus a friendship...

Dunno if that helps. But sometimes people get in a huff about the most intersting things. If you changed your ID that wouldn't necessarily bother me, as often people do when their intersets change. For instance now that I'm more into DBZ then KISS or other interests I'm using Tryniamerin more then StarbearerTM. Luckily the StarbearerTM works for DBZ because of the dragonballs... even though Starbearer is a character in the KISS psycho circus comics...

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

You've actually made me think a bit more about this whole name thing. :D Maybe I can have different names for different things. That would work for me. I shall have to think about that a bit more.

Incidentally, I love the whole concept of a dragonball being a "starbearer". That's a splendid name for them!

Also, hi and thanks for friending me! I love getting new DBZ friends. :D

Cool!

[tryniamerin.livejournal.com]

Glad I could help you out! :D And thanks for the input on my name :D

I also love new DBZ friends! :D

[rilla06.livejournal.com]

I was going to comment on this yesterday, but the silly substitute teacher made us go to Period 4 :P

I've been Rilla ever since I got the Internet, because one of the first things I did with it was join Ober.net :) I can't actually imagine being called anything else on the net... but maybe one day...

I think I shall always call you Bunne, but every so often I catch my self calling you Master Katie :P

[/pointless comment]

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Curse those substitute teachers, expecting you to go to class instead of playing about on LJ!

*shakes fist*

Ober.net was pretty much the first place I joined on the net and I just went on as Katie. Which evolved to Master Katie. Which evolved to Buneater. So I suppose my name's been changing subtly ever since the beginning, really, now that I think about it.

[rilla06.livejournal.com]

That would mean that changing your name now would just be continue the cycle of evolution :)